Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
