you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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