I'm gonna have a badass scar
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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