the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
