You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
