Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
where does the pee come out of this thing
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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