I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
