they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
