I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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