How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
