Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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