so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How does one acquire holy water?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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