What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
