No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
