Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
