they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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