Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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