she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
