And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
