wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
