Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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