Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
