one might say we're banned from that church
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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