I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
