i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
