try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
