ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
