Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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