i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
