I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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