Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
