this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
