She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
