you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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