my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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