I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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