Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
