wanna go halves on a baby?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
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I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
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Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
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