Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
