I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think I died a long time ago.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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