you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
