Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
