Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
