Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
