Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
