I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
