it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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