dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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