Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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