Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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