we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize