she woke up with a sticky ear
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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