so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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