Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
