Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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