Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
