ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
