May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
