it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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