Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
