Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
