Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
