I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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