i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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