Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
